I killed my pet raccoon

Welcome, everybody, to the land of the Insipid. We wake up in the mornings, we go to bed in the night and what happens in the due course of the day is nothing but a whole lot of nonsense. We drink coffee, pretend to do something with our lives. We drink coffee, we complain about the petrol prices or the government's latest law or the crabby taxi driver. We drink coffee and pretend to do something with our lives, when in reality that is all that we do. Drink coffee.

But yet, most people would agree with me when I say this, there is something incredibly satisfying in drinking coffee. Everybody drinks coffee. If they don't, then secretly, down deep inside, they want to. But not everybody gets to drink coffee.

This brings us to the biggest question that all the people in the land of the Insipid face. What do those who don't drink coffee do? The answer is quite simple. They kill their pet raccoon. Why? Because they just have to do something don't they? They kill their pet raccoons. And nothing, not even coffee can stop them from killing them.

Yet again, most people would still agree with me even when I say this, there is something incredibly alluring about raccoons as well.

Coffee and pet raccoons.

The formula for the perfect life in the perfect land of the Insipid.

I rest my case.

Far Away

The cold morning mist hugged the trees close to its bosom. The long winding road promised a long, happy journey, if not a destination. But it was perfect. It was exactly what I was looking for. To the side, there was a mountainous road that would lead me further away from civilization, further into the heart of nature. I trotted along the path, at my own pace. I had nothing to worry about here.

I walked further on. The faithful dog that I had named Doggie ran ahead of me, sniffing at plants, sensing things that only dogs seem to sense. The rain kept beating against my skin. Patter Patter. Not the kind of rain you find in the middle of the city. No. This rain was cruel and relentless. And somehow, that made it purer.

The world looked so different. So much more pristine. Untouched. Like a virgin. It felt like I was the first person to walk this path since the beginning of time. But who knows? Maybe I was. It sure felt that way. I plucked out a couple of leeches that were stuck to my feet like, well, leeches. I looked up, at the wet, gravelly road that stretched endlessly ahead, the mountains on my side, the forest that was crawling with so many untold, hidden secrets. Doggie stood there, in the middle of the road. He looked at me, with his head tilted. I could almost hear him ask me, what's holding you back?

Nothing, i replied. Nothing is holding me back.

Shadow

I am a shadow. I'm always by your side, though you never realize it.

I am a shadow. I live in the darkness you cast, while you turn your face to the sun.

I am a shadow. I cry when you do, I laugh when you do.

I am a shadow. Your only companion when you're all alone in the world.

I am a shadow. Your one true friend.

I am a shadow. The one you never care for.

I am a shadow. The one you turn to, when you want to hide your tears.

I am a shadow. All that will be left of you when you fall to shame.

I am a shadow. I am you.

Waiting

There is love. And then there is all consuming, irrevocable, irreplaceable love.
In love, you need the other person to be there for you. And when they are not there, you miss them.
In irrevocable love, you don't need the person. You don't even miss them, because you know that they are a part of you. A part of your being, your existence.
So, how can you miss someone who is a part of your own self? Someone who is in every breath you take, every song you sing? Someone who is present in every word you write, every raindrop that touches your skin?
You can't. And you don't. Because when you really really love a person, distance is not a matter. When your souls are bound together, it doesn't matter if you are not physically together. When you love each other, you do that because it is the only thing to do. The natural thing. Like breathing. It is something you live for. Without which, life would just be a meaningless existence.
I don't know how long i will wait for you. I don't know if i will love you forever. But I love you today, and that is what matters. And I will wait for you as long as i can, i will love you for as long as i can. And I will hope, that no matter where you are, no matter how far, you will hear these words whenever I utter them.

A month.

A month.

Seems like an eternity since i spoke to you. Since i heard your voice. Since I heard you say 'i love you'. But then again, there is a chance i might never hear you say it again.

But i won't believe that. Things might get worse from here, but I'm not gonna lose faith in you, faith in us. Maybe I'm wrong. But i have nothing to lose by believing.

A lot can change in a month. For the better or for the worse.

I'll keep my fingers crossed till then.

Teenager in Love

Its funny how much you want to write when you're really sad. Three posts in one day, when i haven't posted once since June.

I never appreciated how right Dion and the Belmonts were.

Each night i ask the stars up above, why must I be a teenager in love?

Well, never had to ask myself till now I guess.

You never appreciate the meaning of some songs till you go through the feelings that they talk about.

How can something that was so beautiful actually cause so much pain?

It is a real bad feeling. When something you thought would last forever comes to an abrupt end. And you're left in the dust, feeling empty.

Who would have ever thought that little quarrels could lead to something so big?

I cried a tear, for nobody but you.

Random Ramblings. Random thoughts that pop into my head as i stare at the chat box and wait for him to talk to me.

If you should say goodbye, I'll still go on loving you.

Each night I ask the stars above, why must I be a teenager in love?

Teardrops

I sleep. I sleep to escape from your clutches. From your memories. I sleep to escape from thoughts about you. But even when I sleep, I know that I have to awake soon. Soon enough, the twilight zone between sleep and waking arrives. And I think of you.

What first touches me is the pure, unadulterated joy. Then come the tears. And then, finally, the pain. The raw, pitiless pain. The pain that only a person who has lost a loved one could feel. I think of you even more. I think of the times that we spent in each others arms. Oh, it feels so real. I can feel you, here with me. In my arms. I rest my head on your chest, take in your scent. You hold me tight, so tight that it feels like no one can ever separate us from each other. We don't talk. We just sit under the stars and make plans for the future. Our future. You promise me that we'll take all the steps together. You promise me that no matter how hard things get, we will always make it through, knowing that we will always have each other. When I heard these words for the first time, i felt a warmth that had nothing to do with the balmy night. When I think of these words now, all I feel is despair. Despair, at the loss of the one I loved. Despair at the loss of a future that I so desperately yearn for. I despair, knowing that you'll never let me be in your arms again.

The memories don't stop. I think of you some more, even more. I think of the time when we kissed in the rain. I think of the time when you swept me off my feet and swore to be my knight on his white steed. I think of the time when we cuddled up in my couch to watch a movie. I think of the times when I was with you, when I was happy.

Everybody says, there will come a time when the sun will shine in the sky again. When I won't cry every time I think of you. When I won't need you the way I do right now. But that time just seems so far away.

Oh, how I wish I could undo everything that has happened! How I wish that you would give us another chance. But I know I can't, i know that you won't. I want to shout it off the rooftops that I would do anything to get you back. But I can't. And I won't. I'll just let you go, not because it is the right thing to do, or not because that's what I want to do. I'll let you go, because that is what you want. But at least, from this moment on, I know what every wishing star, every fountain and every wish is going to be about.